retail news in context, analysis with attitude

The Chicago Tribune follows up on yesterday's stories about Kmart offering a lifetime guarantee on certain plants and trees sold at its garden centers by pointing out that the fine print offers a lot of caveats.

Like, if "the expired shrub or tree wasn't adequately watered or otherwise neglected." Other exclusions: "Plants damaged by vehicles, lawn mowers, snowplows, chemicals, animals or vandals are out, too, according to the fine print on the company website. Same for plants finished off by 'acts of God, including, but not limited to: disease, insects and related plant pests, or weather'."

"They've covered just about everything that's going to go wrong," Ken Johnson, a horticulture educator with the University of Illinois Extension, tells the Tribune.
KC's View:
So by offering all these exclusions, Kmart has not only covered acts of God, but also acts of Kevin.

Damn.

Now, I have to make an admission here. When I wrote this story yesterday and commented on it, I missed the obvious joke ... which was pointed out to me by literally dozens of readers who sent me emails saying, in a variety of ways, that the Kmart guarantee probably wouldn't last very long because Kmart's lifespan would be a lot shorter than that of most of the trees and plants that it sells.

While I'm chagrined by the fact that I missed the joke, I am enormously cheered by the fact that I got so many emails. We're all mostly on the same page here, which makes me very happy.